Money, more specifically paper currency, in big values, is favored by many people, each tiny piece of paper contains a value that enables the ability for people to satisfy their desires. Open my drawer, and take a closer look at what’s in it, we can see this Chinese currency with the denomination of 100 Yuan, which is also the largest value people can find, lying down at the corner. This bill isn’t new at all, perhaps old with little scratches and folds, recently the bank released a new version of Yuan bills in 2015, such old bills, that might not even be accepted in the US, why am I still keeping them?
On the day I was supposed to fly to New York, I was sitting in the car, next to my grandfather, with the anxiety of how future life will be, and the feelings of don’t want to be away from the place I lived for my whole childhood, the closest family that I have been live since I can remember, all these thoughts sum up to my silence the entire time, suddenly, my grandfather called my name: “ Are you dizzy? You don’t look right.” even though both of us are lacking sleep because we have had traveled many places in the past few days to get my documents ready, we both tired but finallly we made to the airport, waiting for my flights, unlike whats around us, people either happy or sad, me and my grandfather just stood there, silence, we have much to say, but nothing eventually coming out, he pull out his wallet and take out a couple bills, stuffed into my hand, without giving the chance to say no, he say to have some cash on me just in case if flight delayed, I look at him, realize his now much older then in my memories, as i always bebelieve my grandfather is one greatest man to me, nothing seems to bother him, i realized time did change something when i saw more wrinkles on his face. Finally, my flight came, at the last minute he still telling me things that I might have to pay more attention to, with some sort of choking voice, I was surprised because my grandfather rarely shows his emotion, the moment I grab my suitcase, I feel regret of not paying more attention to what he had told me on the ca. As I approach the security check, it’s hard to tell the mix of complicated feelings I have, going straight might be easy, however, I turn around, and stand there for a second, trying my best to remember the face, of this man who raised me. After getting on the plane, a depressing mood surrounds me. Memories get blurry, one thing I can remember no matter to be alone in the airport, or when I arrived, the loneliness stopped by these few bills I’m holding.
Living in the early years of China is a little bit tough, but he made it through it, with his hardworking, this type of experience had him become strong and thrift. He always is so “cheap” with himself, he saved every penny he could, but to me, he never says a “No”, no matter what I ask for, he always tries to get it for me, his tolerance had me growing up as an arrogant kid, as now I often regret of things I’ve done to him, and never get a chance to make up. As I thought it was just another trip to New York and I might come back, young me didn’t know what exactly this journey means. To be in this diversified country, I often feel lost, who am I, and where I belong, the bills reminds me of my root, every few months look at them, memories all appear to me, and after many years, I understood the heaviness of these bills, how much they mean to me, not just money, but connect with deep and implicit love.
Reflection
When I first begin this assignment, I wasn’t sure which one to write about, I have many options that can be easy to write, and I have this one, which is relating to my grandfather, I know if I’m going to write about it, I have to remember details and think deeply, perhaps these good memories make me feel terrible of the fact that I might never see my grandpa ever, however, I decided to write about it, because, to me, nothing can be more significant, that I have complicated feelings about it. At the same time from the past years, I rarely speak about my grandfather, to the last thing he gave me, the last memories I had left, I decided to write about it. In the process of completing this assignment, every small thing in my first draft didn’t seem right, until I got suggestions from my peer and had a look at their paper, how he have a similar abject that came from his father, and now became a symbol of where he is from and states the how important his father is to him, my second draft is able to better apply rhetorical techniques. During the writing, by remembered and write down everything, which made me miss him even more, as many who said that “ Death is not the end to one’s life, forgetting is.” I am glad I chose this object for writing, I know my essay might not fully express my thoughts, but for me, I went through a whole childhood memories replay.
